pregnancy discomfort

I’m awoken again – this time, by bad stomach cramps. As my eyes slowly get used to the darkness, I search for the numbers on the clock – its 1 am. This is the 2nd time this week that I’m getting the stomach cramps. Is it something I ate today (and that day) that didn’t quite agree with my stomach or that steep flight of stairs I was forced to take during today’s seminar (I felt cramps too while climbing up those steps)? Or worse, a sign of something unfortunate impending? I don’t know.

I popped a couple of bismac (hoping that its because of something I ate) but just can’t get back to sleep… so here I am again. Our friend’s 1st IVF procedure was unsuccessful and they are going to try again. Yesterday, another good friend shared about her ‘missed miscarriage'. I feel deeply for them, even though I have never been on such a roller-coaster ride. You and I cannot possibly understand the pain and heartache they are going through because we have simply never been there before (unless you have – then my heart also goes out to you).

I think about all those who abandon their babies/children and those who so desire to have one of their own but are unable to – and I can’t help but feel unjust even though I know God has plans and reasons for everything.

I was not ready before but He granted me my desire when I was - TWICE. At the back of mind though, I get reminded of a family member whose foetus stopped growing at around 5th month (where I am currently) and I can only pray and hope that this pregnancy will be smooth sailing and I will carry His child to term.


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